I’m watching New Girl, as I’m sitting here with a war between my mind and my stomach. I want to eat healthily, but I want to eat junk food. I sat in this maroon recliner and I thought and I pondered and I wondered.
The verdict: Sea Salt Caramel gelato.
That tomato bisque soup from Whole Foods in the pantry can shove it.
I came back to the recliner and envied Jess Day’s hair. It’s so perfect and magnificent. HOW?! As I ate the sea salt caramel gelato, I was wondering why I hadn’t gotten any chocolate chunks yet. I didn’t want to keep eating it because then my boyfriend would know that I ate a lot of the ice cream that we eat together. It’s cute and fun. But I had to keep eating it in the name of chocolate chunks (please don’t think of poop.. but now you’re gonna think of poop..stop.. okay.. now.)
I kept eating it and finally a few magically appeared.. I had to eat all of them. The reason I’m eating ice cream is because I was originally going to get Chipotle, but then Chase (my boyfriend’s name) wanted Chipotle, so duh I’m going to wait for him to get off work. Thank God because I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to make us cheese ravioli for dinner at 9PM. Ok, so like I said, the tomato bisque soup could shove it for all I care, as I was eating the gelato, everything was in slow motion and every bite was incredible.
I stopped paying attention to New Girl and was just focused on the sea salt, as I was in a daze I noticed directly across from me was a can of soup. Not any can of soup, it’s worse than the Whole Foods soup………………….it was HEALTHY CHOICE soup… staring me dead in the eyes. How dare it? I mean, it’s my fault because I’m the one who brought a can of soup into the bedroom… but honestly…. this killed my whole entire slow motion, good munchin’ vibe.
It was like being at a party and all of a sudden you hear that vinyl scratch sound.
I put the ice cream back and decided to eat this friendly, organic, non-gmo popcorn. Don’t even suggest making macaroni and cheese because the milk expired and I poured it down the drain last night 😥
I attempted to write a paper, but instead I decided to research yoga and then decided to look at the nutritional information of Chipotle. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN A BAG OF CHIPS? More than a big mac. 530 vs 570. *cries uncontrollably* I’m still gonna get chips tonight……